The relative who lives with us was having surgery this afternoon. It won’t cure her. Even though it’s going to be a more painful journey before improvement, this surgery marks another beginning. It will *hopefully* make her condition more manageable, and that’s really exciting. She has been counting down, and we’ve been getting ready for the journey of recovery. Last night we were up late having giggles about how it was just like Christmas Eve. So much anticipation.
What I wasn’t prepared for though was this afternoon. This afternoon waiting it has felt like I have been switching between two modes: feeling like I was holding my breath and praying.
A lesson in patience, a lesson in trust. Waiting, hoping and praying.
When you love somebody, you want to do everything in your power to help them, to make them happy. I wish I could give the world and take away the pain. Whilst there are many practical
or completely impractical but FUN things that can be done to help make life easier or bring a smile, its still so hard to watch somebody you love in so much pain, and not be able to take it away.
Sometimes (ok, a lot of the time), I wish that I were in control so I could have things my way. But then I’m reminded how much I have a limited view of things, how I stuff up and am selfish and my way wouldn’t be what is best. So I’m thankful to leave it to God who does know what is best. Even though it’s hard, and I don’t understand what’s going on.
So each time I found myself holding my breath, I consciously breathed. And I prayed, let it go. Out of my control, in His hands.
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