As part of my husband’s work, we recently attended a day-long marriage seminar. There were many interesting things we learnt, but the “one to five” ratio really stuck with me.
When I googled it to find out more details, I found a blog which gives a really good overview. You can read it here.
Basically though, a study showed that for a marriage to be successful and healthy there needs to be five positive interactions for every negative interaction. Those marriages that had a ratio worse than this were more likely to end in divorce. I found this really challenging, as when I get tired (which is often with a young baby) I find it really easy to slip into the sarcastic, nagging wife.
I’ve been challenged before (when I slip into this sarcastic, nagging wife mode) about Ephesians 4:
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
How blessed I am to have been forgiven, that I should forgive others. I should be focused on building up others and encouraging them, especially my husband to whom I have committed my life, rather than tearing him down. For there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life…