If you were a follower of HappyHouseWifey back in the early days, you may remember seeing this pic come up on facebook:
argued spoken before about our differing views and expectations on housework. Our expectations on the state of our house are at opposite ends of the spectrum slightly different. In saying that, my husband does contribute around the house and is very thankful and appreciate of all the work I put in. We are just wired a bit differently!
So as every relationship will have their own unique ways of making things work for them, we’ve developed (and are always refining) systems to make our relationship work.
For us, communication is the key. As we don’t prioritise the things that need to be done in the same way, it works much better for both of us when we communicate our expectations/needs clearly with each other. We can then discuss and decide on a course of action. Some examples:
1. When possible hubby tries to be home AND available 5:00 pm to 7:00pm to help with the dinner/bath/books/bed routine with the kids. I’ve communicated with him how helpful this is to me, and he communicates with me about what he’s got on so we can discuss. Some weeks he’s home most days, others only one or none. It varies, but he prioritises it and we negotiate. (hubby is a Pastor as well as a student, so is often out nights. He also works some days from home, so sometimes at this time he is physically home but busy working)
2. He now knows that doing the dishes is always helpful. There has been times in our marriage where he has done the dishes in the morning before I get up, as this was the best time for him. However some days he leaves the house between 4:30 and 6:00am and with the location of our kitchen doing the dishes can wake the kids. So I’m more understanding and he knows that doing them is always helpful at anytime of the day that suits!
3. If I’m upset or angry, hubby asks me, “What do you want me to do?”. Sometimes he words the question, “Do you want me to help you solve this, or just listen?”. This helpful response has come about after many miscommunications in the early years of our marriage. Mostly, I just need him to listen.
So what was the response to my SMS? Here was the text of the SMS I got back:
“I’ve already noticed on the blog darling. (Yes, he read’s my blog! Perhaps to keep tabs on me?)
Great stuff babe!
I shall reward you when I get home
with dishes and kisses
on a place like your face
so you’ll know I’m not slow
to show your attempt is not exempt
of that love from above…”
Owww… he wrote me a poem!!
And then when he came home, he did the dishes.
I wonder if it will work again? 😀