I’m a left-brained, super-organizer and super-planner. When I’m tired, I get totally overwhelmed by things and sometimes I find it hard to focus. My to-do list is one way I’ve tried to find order amongst the chaos, but sometimes even that is too much for me to handle.
At the moment, my 8month old baby has been waking between 3am and 5am just about everyday. My natural inclination is to write about how hard it is with so little sleep to focus & get things done, but I’m going to stop myself right there. Instead, I’m going to get straight to the point.
I’ve come to the realisation recently that I just can’t do everything, and need to lower my expectations. I’ve gone for months trying to push through getting barely any quality sleep, but it hasn’t been working for me or my family. I’m tired, unproductive and have to fight for joy. So it was a very easy decision for me to focus on getting more sleep in 2012.
To make it simple, I’ve decided to try to ‘shut down’ (eg. tv, computer, hobbies, blogging, social activities etc) at 8:30pm so I can be ready for the next day and ‘lights out’ by 9:30pm. It doesn’t work everyday, but have already had to make some tough decisions to make it work.
The main thing that I’ve had to do though is lower my expectations of myself. I won’t detail the ins and outs of my day, but at the moment there is not a huge amount of time to get things done when I’m up early with the kids, and I’m ‘shutting down’ sometimes less than half hour after they go to sleep.
So if I go through my day and …
… the dishes haven’t been done
… the folding hasn’t been put away
… I haven’t cooked a masterpiece for dinner
… I didn’t make it out of the house today
… I haven’t done a blog post in over a week
… the grocery list is growing… and growing…
its OKAY !!!!
They will still be there waiting tomorrow.
I’m not saying that in the long-term these habits are positive ones, but as we go through phases of our life, sometimes it’s okay to lower the expectations we have on ourselves a bit.
It is so easy for me to beat myself up about the above things, to tell myself lies that I’m not a good wife and mother because I’ve let the above things slip. When I look about the house, and there are so many things to be done, I get totally overwhelmed sometimes.
I ‘m having to make a conscious effort at the moment to remind myself (and my lovely and wonderful friends and family also remind me and encourage me) that it’s just a phase of life and it’s OKAY!
And its 8:29pm, so I’m posting this… Sorry, no picture!
{edit: by the time I added the 2 links its 8:36pm! OOps! Goodnight! xx}
Sounds like you are a great wife and mother! Sleep deprivation is so hard and you are right, cleaning will be there tomorrow but your children are your priority.
Hope things settle soon. Big hugs 🙂
I’m returning to work in 1 week and I’ve been a very organized house wife but understand that returning f/t with a husband that works away for at least 4 weeks at a time I’m joining you!, hopefully it’s less stress <3
Great idea to lower expectations. It’s taken me a long time to realise this. Being a perfectionist, I tend to beat myself up over things – but have found myself going to bed at ridiculous times, because something hasn’t been done “just right”. I struggle with the limited time I have to get things done after the kids are in bed (and when they’re up at 6am). But more sleep = happier mum, which means that I’m usually more productive during the day. Things will always be there tomorrow – we or our family may not.
Lowering expectations- fantastic! It’s only been in the last few months that I have lowered my own ‘bar’ and I am happier, more productive and a better Mum/Wife. And… the best part is my husband is noticing the difference in me!
I hope you keep on remembering to ‘let the little stuff slide’. And the 9.30 rule is a great one 🙂 we have the same one… last night I was in bed and asleep by 8pm (think I was a little tired)!